Sniff my hair

So I was lying there in bed, you know, afterwards. So, I'm lying there and he says to me how come your hair smells different?

What?

I don't know what the fuck that was. I don't know why he notices things like that. I mean what is that? How my hair smells? Is he gonna turn stalker on my now and and memorize all the products I use so that he can tell if I took a shower somewhere else? I mean what is that?

I told him his nose was broken. He kissed me and rolled over and went to sleep.

I'm just wondering what that's supposed to mean.

What is a woman without a mirror?

All women are vain. All women. Even dykes. Even nutjobs. Well, all women are nutjobs, so there you go. All women are born with the vanity gene. It's encoded into their DNA and they can't escape it.

Women will use anything for a mirror. Your keychain. The shiny lid of a salt shaker. A window. The car bumper while they're pumping gas. Your mirrored sunglasses. Especially while you're wearing them. They can't stop. They can't help themselves.

I've recently noticed, and perhaps I'm coming in a little late in the game so fuck me if I'm just now figuring this out, but I've recently noticed that the way women check themselves out the most is through the eyes of other women. Maybe some of you will argue with me and say that they check themselves out in the eyes of a man. We only wish they did. Women don't dress and make themselves up for us. Unless they're hookers or porn stars. Even then I think they dress for the competition.

Fake hair, fake nails, fake tits, fake lips, fake eye color, fake tan, fake teeth, fake laugh, fake friends, fake life, fake girl.